the stranger
i noe i haven't been blogging.. not so much coz there's no material.. but more like too much has been happening.. mostly revolving around work and tuition.. which the tuition is so much better paying.. haha.. still sore abt the pay i get for my intern..yest marked the end of my 6 week internship.. in his words.. like a short read.. maybe the fact that i'm still safe and sound sitting at home means something.. but the saddest thing is my fear of trusting him beyond the current status now.. we speak of friendship.. but i do not know of friendship which lacks trust.. maybe then he should be nothing more than a stranger juz passing by in my life..
i was never afraid to show my guard against him.. i am clear in my mind wad this should and should not turn out.. i would choose to believe that he was certain too.. and from his words as a staunch Christian.. when he spoke of love and guidance.. i was almost sure.. yet i pulled back.. at the back of my mind i warned myself against being so trusting.. the fact was that he has lived and experienced 24 more years than i and my peers have.. i couldn't treat him and his thinking like he was one of our kind..
he never saw through me more than i saw through him.. not because i was better in judging people.. but because he dared to speak of his life to me.. but i restrained myself from speaking too much.. and of course i have a far more complex personality than him.. (which i haven't been able to figure out myself)yet despite my awkward age with respect to his doubling the confusion, he has taught me more than what goes on in the corporate world.. he has assured me the possiblity of my expectations..
a twist of fate, the sudden absentee of a fellow usher for the alumni homecoming event.. a door of opportunity, my allocation to ushering the corporate partners.. a stroke of luck, his initiation of conversation with me and the availability of my namecard.. a moment of courage, the picking up of my handphone dialling his number, and the fearless meetup in town.. a month and a half of extraodinary experience, no more ordinary than his..
i thank him from the bottom of my heart.. for his endless encouragement, for his valuable mentorship on the corporate world, work and life, for the unconditional help beyond internship work, and for the feeling of being valued and empowered, for the lifts i get home almost everyday, and for the deep efforts unknown to me..
yet let this be how far it can go.. maybe then i'm seen as a person of stone cold heart.. it is never like me.. but if being myself will change status quo, then let me be the stranger to my heart..
rebec inspired @ 5:27 PM
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