::Inspiration::

first paper

thought i wouldn't have the luxury of blogging during these weeks coz of exams.. but i think i need an outlet once again.. before i waste more time thinking over and over again.. promise myself that after this, there's no more thought about it anymore.. promise..

had my first paper today.. IT.. it's actually a lot of fun doing an exam with my bro.. haha.. can discuss with him and go through with him certain concepts or papers.. and share notes which is mutually beneficial.. (really.. can't imagine how i'll do the paper without his lab print out..) perhaps only once in a liftime will he sit in front of me in the same exam hall taking the same paper.. cool..

i was fine after the exam.. though i was in a state of shock towards the end not understanding why i had to rush out my last part of the answer.. it was indeed quite scary.. i anticipated to complete the paper in at most one and a half hours.. still dunno why i din have enough time.. after i handed up the paper and was sort of certain my last answer wouldn't be very far off from the correct one, i juz thot it was over and i should stop thinking abt it..

but subsequently i realised mistakes in two of my answers.. it's weird how I can easily tell others that it's over and to stop thinking abt it.. when I can't do it myself.. but the scarier thing is my mentality.. and my expectations on myself.. being so affected just because i got 3% off my grade.. was i expecting full marks??? perfectionist? i dunno.. but that'll be crazy..

sometimes u thot u were smart to see the trick in the question, but the question is smarter.. i said i'll give it to anand this time.. it was too intelligent a question.. but at the back of my mind i knew i was so close to getting it correct.. so close.. yet my inability to see another part of the trick makes me in the same state as those who din see the first part of the trick at all.. the fustrating thing abt mcqs..

sometimes i'll just have to learn to let go.. (i thot i mastered that? apparently i gotta relearn it again) i don't recall having such problems last sem.. perhaps coz of my policy of not going through answers with my frens after that.. i went for exams with what i called ping chang xin.. just making sure i did my best.. which i think it's impt.. so wad has the burden of expectations done to me? oh man.. i'm quite glad i'm only feeling it now.. i can't imagine how i could have taken it if i were the top few students in the school when i was younger.. i don't think a child could have taken it.. (though i noe many who were in that position and are still happy people now..)

great.. think i'm out of the IT mood now.. =) keeping my promise.. and reminding myself about ping chang xin.. off to mug!

rebec inspired @ 10:42 PM Comments: 0