in the midst
end of apb exam.. have a numb right hand now from writing non stop for two hours.. seldom i start blogging in the midst of exams.. yea i still have 3 more to go.. but my next will be on thursday so i've got some time in between..exactly last week when i saw the news abt VT shootings in US.. it was so upsetting and painful that i started crying unknowingly.. the result of a mentally sick individual who glorifies himself by the death of innocent lives.. what is it really? I don't get it.. i don't think i am able to as a normal person i guess.. the premediated and systematic actions scare, because it prob takes cold bloodedness instead of impulse to do what he did.. the humane self and conscience that guides the actions of mankind is lost - what is left is less than animalistic because the latter only kills for survival instincts, not for fun..
as i condemn the murderer, i cannot say that i am able to share the pain for it is unimaginable.. the actions of the media have been wrong in the eyes of many grieving families, and the release of the videos explaining the puzzle of the time lag and his merciless killings have perhaps sparked more self proclaimed "matyrs" in the process.. indeed it has been evident with more incidents of glorifying self by killing innocent people, and have potrayed them as heros.. yet i do not think that most of us find his actions justifiable with the videos.. in fact i find it more repulsive and unforgiving the fact that the thought had been accumulating for such a long time.. a downright person sick in the mind who i find offensive in the mere relation of him to any religious matrys.. the media is not at fault, and perhaps the real culprit is the gun laws in the US.. I started to ask what guns are for? Self defence? But if everyone else doesn't have a gun then self defence using such lethal weapon may not be necessary anymore.. I'm glad that Singapore doesn't allow guns.. because I feel safe that there aren't people legally possessing guns to potentially use them illegally..
That aside, the past week i have been suffering from withdrawal symptoms.. obssesive complusive disease for TV.. it's been a while since I got myself addicted to TV although I noe it all lies within me.. but somehow these days TV is always more attractive then books.. well it doesn't help that i was supposed to be studying for exams.. Wire in the Blood.. where most people won't noe this show coz its British (I have something for British films haha) its about crime psychology and using the theories to apply them in police cases to solve murders or homocides and explaning why.. well i love it coz the dr is just so smart and passionate about psychology that he ends up weird in most people's eyes.. unpredictable while he enters the world of the murder and the victim.. it's a different perspective into crime, where evidence more often than not give way to psychology..
for once i admit to the fact that show and reality are different, and i'm glad that i can draw a line between them.. because what is entertaining as a crime thriller, with the murderer killing mercilessly becomes disturbing as they unfold in real life.. when i walked into school last week, i felt the mere thought of the place so peaceful becoming the site of death for people who have done no wrong to deserve it totally upsetting.. and then again i try to cherish the peacefulness and remember that all the competition for As in my transcript may not be that important after all..
rebec inspired @ 12:13 PM
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