burning flesh...
1st time i realised wad's the smell of burning flesh.. trust me.. it's not a very pleasent smell.. esp when it's ur own..
yep.. today i underwent a very interesting experience.. and painful of course.. spent almost 4 hours at nsc.. most of the time i was waiting of course.. cutting the long story short, currently i have 2 skin tags on my eye gone.. and abt 3mm of that unknown object beside my ear removed and prob in the clinical labs now.. i feel quite brave now.. din really need psycholocial preparation towards the end coz of the long wait.. juz wanted to get it over and done with.. but lying on that patient's bed was an experience i never want to go through again if possible.. juz felt very defenceless..
but i learnt something new today.. never ignore any skin growths.. i had this thingie beside my year for as long as i can remember.. and the doctor can actually tell me that it might be this funny thing that have a very minor chance, but still a chance to become cancer! that's why she's gotta send it for biopsy.. to me it was absurd.. i mean i'm fine after so many years of it being there and not giving me any trouble.. i din actually go there for that purpose but more coz of the skin tag on my eye.. but suddenly it struck me that sth being there for so long does not mean that it's nothing..
so now i've got a stitch beside my ear.. and i'm starting to feel sth.. maybe coz the anesthetic is over.. but glad that i finished sth i always wanted to do.. =)
gender differences..
a topic always of interest to me.. the study on gender differences.. check it out..
http://www.economist.com/opinion/PrinterFriendly.cfm?story_id=7245949
Bon Voyage!
dedicated to my dear bro.. bon voyage!
really hope u enjoy urself there..
the same words: stay safe and healthy.. take care..
love lots always from us all :)
running
wow it's been a week since i blogged.. and yes i just cannot describe how busy i was for the past week yet again.. today marks another breather for me.. for a newer beginning.. for a beginning of a different direction in school..
running.. it has been the highlight of my last week.. and perhaps for the most used word in school among the group of us.. are u running? haha.. for those we don't noe, biz management comm is doing the next round of elections of the new batch of mc pple.. and a choice of a good leader as a president was high in demand.. leave the politics behind for those are sensitive issues.. the moral of the story stands that i'll be free after the 7th of sept.. from my duties and obligations to bizad club.. congratulate me.. i'm a free person! haha..
anything but running.. no one tried to convince me.. maybe coz i was quite slack towards the end of my term.. maybe coz i'm not easily influenced.. the position of president could have been so appealing.. but we've got a weird situation this year.. hmm.. perhaps i was a little hard on that.. i cannot say that the club has not given me anything.. in fact the positives have been more than the negatives.. i came to realise when i was @ camp calibre.. the fun, friendship and the mutual understanding among most of the mc members is definitely invaluable.. and the exposure and achievements i have derived as a result.. but it's a marginal thing for me.. the additional year would not bring abt enough benefit to outweigh the negatives.. and judging from my own heartless words, i do not believe in passing on the baton to one who feels no passion for wad he/she does..
for me.. i feel relieved.. and to my dear friend/s who decided finally to continue this path.. i sincerely wish him all the best.. i only hope that it is out of his own accord after serious thot on the pros and cons.. i found it selfish to dissuade upon my own grounds.. everyone has their own agenda.. i hope that is in accordance to his.. :)
high @ infautuation mos!
yep.. it's 2.32am.. i should be still @ mos if not for me forgetting to bring the key home.. i almost thot i'll be home at 10pm or sth.. right after the pageant programmes ended.. coz we were missing some happening people to bring out the fun in the lot.. i was looking for pple to hang out with.. then i suddenly felt a little lost as to who to look out for.. in the end everyone seemingly ended up outside, quite bored and tired..
with some company which i normally don't hang out with.. unexpectedly i had lots of fun till the extent that staying till morn did cross my mind.. of course i didn't in the end.. i'll juz get killed by my parents.. but i really must thank someone out there.. not naming here juz to prevent unnecessary scandals of any type.. haha.. but a cup of beer, some vodka sprite and 2 tequila shots.. it juz get me going.. technically i'm still a little unlike myself now.. seriously only both of us will noe how unlike ourselves we were.. but it was an enjoyable experience.. without the normal self restraint and burden of life..
passerbys muz have thot we were a couple.. but listening to our conversation would prove otherwise.. although he did tell me some stuff which i felt flattered by.. i once again only managed to speak of some truth in my feelings.. i named one.. but the other.. i was still afraid to tell.. i walked past him 4 times tonight.. in the club.. 4 times i was with different guys and our conversation was no more than words of acknowledgement..
carrying a big metal box with the video cam and the camera inside was definitely a hassle.. but thx a lot to many gentlemen who offered to help me with my cam.. ended up the cam wasn't such a problem to me anymore.. haha.. and thanks so much to those we helped me out in taking photos and videos! :) i can't thank you guys enough.. i was thinking of frens.. and i thank those frens who lend a supporting hand from below when i'm sinking down from pressure or depression..
it feels like a night whereby u do crazy things and u noe that tmr morn.. u'll either forget abt them totally and be the prim and proper self again.. but meanwhile u enjoy the night without that self restraint, without pretending that u are alright.. this is the night.. high~
a break...
a luxury to have a break to type this today.. to think that it's so ironical to be so busy and yearning for a rest just at the start of sch.. i've been late for 3 lessons on 3 consecutives days... getting quite used to sitting at the last row in the lt.. haha..
communication break down @ home with the maid has caused some emotional pressure on me.. and the work which seemed so cluttered together in the first week of school made up the rest of the stress.. so basically i'm busy all the time.. writing articles and looking for pictures and comments for biz leads.. doing posters and email runs for nominations publicity.. writing reports and designation description for mc.. selling and buying textbooks.. planning tutorials.. those i finished in 3 days.. i've still got case publicity, jill lowe competition and rag video to complete by fri.. thank goodness tmr is a free day for me..
went out today to watch click with jx.. this is the second time we went to watch a movie and it is the second time i met my uni frens.. believe it or not.. there's nothing really much to explain.. juz a fren.. it was a movie which i cried over.. but an interesting movie with the moral behind reminding people abt how we treat life.. i felt so sad for him when he realises that he uncontrollably wastes away his life without going through the process of living..
after that we decided to go shopping.. then i realised how deprived i was.. haven't been to town for so long that i realised that there were so many things to buy that i dunno where to start.. but shopping with a guy was still quite weird.. haha.. but i did enjoy juz hanging around in town remembering that i have things to buy and should go shopping again soon.. =)
the week has been concerned with mc elections again.. and unknowingly a year has passed.. it's time to withdraw from the frontline of bizad, moving more towards the backend.. we achieved many, we sacrificed some.. i can only say that one year is enough.. this academic year will be one focused on studies..
emotions
lately i've been a little flustered up coz of the absence of a maid at home.. it's a long story.. but i've juz realised how spoilt i am after all the defence when pple try to imply that i'm one.. a week without a maid has been emotionally traumatic for me.. not only coz that meant that i've gotta do make do with not having breakfast on the table for me every morning, not having clothes back up on the shelf nicely washed and ironed, not having dinner on the table every evening i get back.. but also coz i can't juz forget abt everything and live in a pig sty coz my mum will end up doing all the work.. and when my mum is stressed out.. that's not sth very nice to see.. so it's been housework for me for the past week.. and realising how fortunate i was for the past 20 years that i did not live one day without a maid.. until last week..
now everything's back to normal.. or almost back to normal.. other than having to teach the new maid slowly on the normal operations at home.. and trying to overcome the language barrier.. but of course life's much better now.. at least i don't have to make sure that i bring out the key all the time coz the door will not be locked when i get home.. :)
not helping out was the fact that i've been busy with school stuff.. namely oweek and flag.. flag was a day long thingie.. and i was the driver.. yes i was one.. i dunno how i managed to survive that.. but it was also an emotionally traumatic experience for me.. i specifically mentioned that i'm not too good with directions.. asking them to only give me the area i stay in.. orchard, somerset, and bukit timah.. which they did.. but somehow or another most decided that ryan's area was a much better area to flag.. i sent one grp of them from orchard to cityhall.. and picked another supposedly in somerset from bugis.. and the route i travelled to connect the 2 has been rather unorthodox.. till now i still dunno the way to connect the 2 without paying erp.. oops.. considering all that kap was a much friendlier place to do collection of cans.. but i thank all of them for the cooperation by calling me one after another.. the silent cooperation.. haha..
oweek ended yest with the conclusion of dean's evening.. of which i was said to look like everything.. bad tempered, angry, sleepy, tired.. but actually i was in a good mood and was very high.. haha.. don't ask me why the contridiction.. other than sentosa games that day which marked the oweek which made the difference, i thot dean's evening last night had not been the best, but it was a commendable effort from us all.. frankly oweek manpower never was enough.. and the lack of experience pple had made some overlook details and made things super last minute.. but of course with help from each other things would and did turn out alright.. i got to noe some frens, got to noe others better while working with them.. and these frens seem like those u're at ease when u're with them.. no need lots of effort to maintain coz they are juz in close proximity.. while of course they having fun scaring me coz of the plain darkness backstage.. haha.. and it seemed like another of those times when the seniors are having fun among ourselves.. (another was sentosa having fun dunking pple in the sea)
had tarot card reading yest which i was courageous enough to be the 2nd to try.. heh don't need to queue up.. haha.. it sounded too good to be true.. love life, career, success.. of course turn away from ur worries now.. and go ur own path.. sounds super generic i noe.. but i choose to believe because when u believe, it'll come true in the end.. =)
likes and dislikes
people relations are interesting.. have u ever wondered why some people appeal to you, while others do the opposite, and the rest just don't clique with you.. yet again the story becomes different when the protagonist is another person..
i'm starting to realise that some people do the opposite to me.. and lately i've realised my decreasing tolerance level for them.. i've gotta admit to my hidden amiable personality as one predicted so accurately.. (i'm still impressed by his judgement of character..) but perhaps age has taught me to courgaeously choose who i want to be with or not be with.. i wonder whether there is anyone in the world who feel no dislike for anyone they are in contact with.. hmm..
yet again interestingly.. my likes for pple are rather long lasting.. although rumours have been spreading like wild fire.. to the extent that a senior asked my bro @ commencement dinner how i was.. but i don't think i should be afraid of his knowledge and stop me from writing abt him.. when his name is mentioned within my conversations with my frens, it puts a smile on my face.. when i read abt him, it captivates me.. when i think of him, it inspires me.. why then should i stop?
a miraculous twist of fate allowed the existence of a frenship between us.. one which i cherish most greatly.. nonetheless i've told many that it would remain as such.. if u've ever truly felt that a guy would be a great bf but u noe that his gf would not be u.. not because u're not good enough for him or vice versa but juz coz u noe u're not his type.. this is the feeling i have for him.. honestly..
wad confuses things are when likes suddenly appear out of the blue.. a fren whom u're not exactly close to but are a little more than acquaintances.. a person u see often yet there wasn't any feeling until suddenly.. suddenly u're more attentive to his words and actions.. suddenly from nowhere.. hmm.. things might not be different for him.. but different for you.. when u see him now.. how would you react?
BZ Magazine!
Finally, announcing the arrival of BZ Magazine Edition 05/06! yea it sounds a little old.. but maybe juz coz it was a year long effort put in by me and my team.. frankly it was my endless time sitting in front of the computer getting stressed out by writing articles and choosing pictures.. and lots of sacrifice in terms of of academics.. but nonetheless.. the efforts paid off.. and the results are better than expected..
it's almost a week old already.. the first thing i did when i received it on thurs was: dash to the clubroom.. pick up the first one and started flipping through.. i wasn't reading or even registering anything.. i mean i've read enough of the articles and seen enough of the pictures during the process.. it was more like i wanted to feel it.. the final product.. my time and effort.. even till today.. when i see someone i noe carrying it around.. i'll juz borrow it, flip it open, close it, and return it back.. sounds weird.. hmm...
but the feeling of having something of ur effort, of ur overall coordination being so successful, everyone who may or may not noe that it is ur product holding on to it, reading it intently.. is indescribable.. and during this period i've gotta thank those who have offered help to me in one way or another.. who gave me encouragement when they saw me stressed out in front of the computer for the umpteenth time.. thank you all..
gave it all out to the freshies.. but i thot that the seniors deserved it more coz ultimately it is the story abt them.. i've still got another 300+ copies.. and i haven't really given it out to the seniors yet.. yep people complain abt their pictures being not too nice, complain that they appear too much or don't appear in the mag, and yes people talk abt me being biased.. haha but oh well.. i promote things more when i feel that they are beneficial to the rest.. and of course there are mistakes in the mag which i hoped for it to be corrected.. but perfection is sometimes too demanding when people are involved..
i kept 5 copies for myself.. can keep as momento cum portfolio.. haha.. but i'm proud of my team and my work.. and i'm proud enough to have approaced all our vice deans and corporate development pple and given them a copy.. the school may wanna reprint another 1000 or 2000 copies for distribution of jcs.. hmmm.. gotta go find out the cost and dig out the contract with regard to reprinting..
i thank the commendments from all.. on the balance in the coverage, on the design layout which frankly is not done by me haha.. on the choice of pictures, even on the accuracy of prediction of relationships by star signs.. try it.. i've really received many comments on that! haha..
russian experience
realised i haven't had the time to update on my recent trip to russia! yep an exotic place i noe.. many of my frens react in interesting manners when i mentioned that i'll be taking a 10 day holiday to this country seemingly far north of the earth..
nonetheless the fact that i lagged in blogging abt this experience doesn't make it less interesting.. perhaps only implying that i din meet any guy who proved my international tendencies right.. haha.. oh well.. the tour guides were all ladies.. very pretty ladies actually..
i cannot deny the fact that going on a holiday makes me yearn for that extraordinary feeling.. it certainly brought back the beautiful memories of my turkish experience.. perhaps only when i'm in that relaxed mode can i recreate that feeling.. one which i am unable to feel during my normal daily routine.. one which is juz so different yet special.. one which cannot be felt now but will never be forgotten..
russia! a rather mysterious and seemingly conservative country to most.. because of the fact that their understanding of that country is greatly limited.. no fault of theirs (i was one of them) because of the mere cultural changes the country has been through over history.. yet the beauty of the evidence of different cultures are those which became so valuable that people from all over the world travel there to witness for themselves..
the st basils in moscow and the kremlins , one of the most significant icons of russia; the palace square and magnificant winter palace in st petersburg; the summer palace in petershof; the remains of the romonav dynasty.. the red square in moscow; monuments of lenin; stalin houses and seven sisters; the evidence of the communist era.. war memorials; canons, tanks and firearms; reconstructed palaces, cathedrels and buildings.. the obvious traces of the destruction of world war II.. the many macdonalds along the way as the sign of westernisation? or perhaps juz the spreading of pop culture..
that is the story of russia.. till now i guess.. and to answer some questions.. russia has already become a democratic country.. in the sense they do have elections and they have a capitalist economy.. and also, it is not snowing all year round.. in summers (when i went) it is abt 10+ to 20+ degrees.. good weather.. but summers are not very long.. sadly.. and true enough their winters are literally freezing cold.. (one of the reason for the defeat of napolean and germany in wwII..) i did get to experience white nights though.. that means 24hr daylight in st petersburg.. cool eh.. and we managed to watch swan lake, the famous ballet show in st petersburg.. fantastic is the only word i think apt to describe it.. =)
to those who seem interested in going to russia for your next holiday.. although it was an eye opening experience, i would think that waiting a while more for their tourism industry to flourish would seem a better choice as yet.. and consider that 13 + 1 hr transit in dubai flight there.. actually quite a turn off to me la.. oops.. and for another.. i totally enjoy the efficiency and comfort at home.. u'll never truly understand it until u're deprived of it.. haha..
