edging into desperation
it's interesting how people tell you what you are and you grow to believe it as time goes by.. stubborness can only take you a certain distance.. the rest is subject to facing the music or plain distortion, depending on your perspective.. it's interesting how there is a fine line between being strong about your own opinions, and being opinioniated.. between confident and arrogant, between persistent and agressive, between believing in yourself and being stubborn.. maybe i was always right in thinking that i'm just plain stubborn.. and i have been told so many times that it is wrong.. i no longer struggle to stand by my point of view.. i've broken down and conceded.. i'm wrong..a recent singles analysis have concluded that i should edge towards desperation for some sort of change.. perhaps i really should.. thinking about extremities scare even myself.. i fear losing myself and what used to be me.. but yet again i was never the better man.. so what is there to lose now? i can't help but wallow in sadness when i think about the inequality in the world in my own narrow perspective.. it hurts to think that what is so attractive about the opposite gender totally does not apply to the fairer sex.. waht am i to do now.. to lower myself in light of desperation? or to stand up proud and stay the same? or maybe i'm just asking for too much...
in built defense mechanism have lately become a topic of conversation.. indeed i think it's very much linked to the fear of being seen as turning desperate.. and of course a method of self preservation.. but how much are you willing to give up for what people think about you? or are you willing to give up everything for just one shot in making things possible.. for me.. i have no answers because no situation has rendered me that sort of choice to make.. when the time comes however, i fear that people's perception is more impactful that my self perception.. is that commendable? or is that condemnable?
the roles of men and women have changed very much in my perspective.. but the innate inequality still remains.. perhaps because i grew up in a traditional setting.. perhaps i will change with a different environment.. but am i so adaptable? and is the different cultures really that different? i tend to believe not...
rebec inspired @ 11:51 AM
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