::Inspiration::

conclusions

before i embark on another stage of my life at full force mugging mode.. i'll juz like to draw some conclusions after 3 days of mind tormenting experience..

1. Expectations bring about disappointment. don't expect, good things will come as surprises instead.. life will be better that way..

2. I cannot take excitement. Yesterday was truly exciting.. somehow all the guys I ever got involved with in my entire life agreed to all look for me on the same day.. That's not very many guys but still.. they got to my mind..

3. I take things really slow.. as in really really slow.. any bit of acceleration somehow upsets me because it is not within my pace.. i can't catch up..

4. I read too much into things.. too sensitive about the little things that brings me to my first point.. there's a fine line between reciprocating and intiating.. I read things so complicatedly that i think everyone else should.. I imply things after interpreting.. but I think i read it wrong..

5. I prefer frenship to a relationship. I realised that just last night in my great attempt to figure things out once and for all.. I am not ready to give up the delicate frenship for telling the truth.. I fear too much of losing everything instead.. i value the frenship too much.. the set of options are there for me now.. risk adverse as usual..

6. I am pessimistic about everything.. too afraid.. too negative.. my fren was right.. every thot should be happy.. the little things that i read into should be of optimism.. for he is supposed to be one who inspires.. forget everything else and remember that..

7. My life is interestingly dramatic.. but I realise I should be enjoying every phase of it.. even this.. glad that this is adding colour to my life.. and starting to grow up in this area of unfamiliarity..

8. Most importantly.. I have friends around me! Who can put down work to talk to me in the wee hours of the morning.. whom i can trust to offer that listening ear.. who doesn't get scared off by me getting emotional.. who understands wad i'm talking about and offers good advice.. who reminds me about points that are lost amongst my mental confusion.. who tries everything funny and turns into spies and actresses admist everything else.. who reminds me of my independence and how much proportion i should give to this.. whom I'm not afraid to talk to about everything.. grateful to all who gave me strength.. who lent a hand, a ear or a hug.. who will always always always be there for me..

achieving that peacefulness in my heart.. then realising that he should have been motivation to focus instead a source of distraction.. my promise to you might have been broken my fren.. but i'll try to keep this promise i made to myself.. and my promise to him..

remembering that i should be always inspired..

rebec inspired @ 12:17 PM Comments: 0