the last for the year..
after he announced for everyone to put down our pencils, I was watching my biology prof pace up and down the exam hall today.. i knew that meant the last paper for the year.. the last that meant.. it was great.. believe me it was a sense of relief and that freedom awaits behind those doors.. but i couldn't say i dreaded every single moment of studying.. and its perhaps one of the semesters i felt like i've learnt something out of the courses.. and i might juz miss some of the modules..
i voted for this gen bio prof as the best lecturer.. and if i forgot to mention.. he's highly amusing and entertaining.. prob one of the most inspirational and fun loving lecturers i have ever had.. makes ecology and systematics, which somehow cannot be imagined as interesting, interesting.. and somehow linking everything to love.. flowers, symbiosis and whatever not.. haha while i don't see the link sometimes, what i do see is his love for the subject.. and i think it's prob contagious.. i realise my own love for biology and science.. 2 days of intensive studying usually gets me exhausted and annoyed at the end.. but i realise i am amazed by the works and wonders of science.. espeically how dna so intelligently codes for life.. and dna figureprinting.. ok maybe that wasn't such a hidden potential i realised so recently, considering that i once wanted to do forensic science minus the dead bodies.. haha..
well i guess i was slightly guilty after voting for my bio lecturer coz that meant i couldn't give my apb lecturer the same credit.. but i think he didn't actually deserve less.. one of the most rewarding of all business modules is perhaps apb.. businesses and their environments in different countries across asia.. we practically become budding economist readers and professionals on the different economies haha.. and the reasons behind the progress of different countries which may not be that known to layman.. keeps us thinking all the time.. and yet no need to do lots of work.. juz gotta think a lot that's all.. ok gotta admit that studying was a chore coz we were all slacking away considering the less work load.. but the more u study the more u realise the useful insights..
and of course.. asian history.. well i've always loved history.. reading it not so much studying for it.. understanding it not so much going for the exam that i was so annoyed after.. haha but i've definitely learned something out of it.. and it was often a supplement to apb and vice versa..
interestingly i realised that i do not find my other modules, which are both higher level biz modules, that useful after all.. it keeps me thinking whether i'm actually studying the right thing after all.. what's always so exciting in school is the cross faculty modules for me.. haha maybe i should have studied forensic science.. haha or maybe it's juz overdose of detective shows which i enjoy the most.. oh well..
meanwhile.. enjoy before work starts next week.. i love my planning.. pacing seems to me going juz right :)
mugging thots
so glad that history doesn't change..
in the midst
end of apb exam.. have a numb right hand now from writing non stop for two hours.. seldom i start blogging in the midst of exams.. yea i still have 3 more to go.. but my next will be on thursday so i've got some time in between..
exactly last week when i saw the news abt VT shootings in US.. it was so upsetting and painful that i started crying unknowingly.. the result of a mentally sick individual who glorifies himself by the death of innocent lives.. what is it really? I don't get it.. i don't think i am able to as a normal person i guess.. the premediated and systematic actions scare, because it prob takes cold bloodedness instead of impulse to do what he did.. the humane self and conscience that guides the actions of mankind is lost - what is left is less than animalistic because the latter only kills for survival instincts, not for fun..
as i condemn the murderer, i cannot say that i am able to share the pain for it is unimaginable.. the actions of the media have been wrong in the eyes of many grieving families, and the release of the videos explaining the puzzle of the time lag and his merciless killings have perhaps sparked more self proclaimed "matyrs" in the process.. indeed it has been evident with more incidents of glorifying self by killing innocent people, and have potrayed them as heros.. yet i do not think that most of us find his actions justifiable with the videos.. in fact i find it more repulsive and unforgiving the fact that the thought had been accumulating for such a long time.. a downright person sick in the mind who i find offensive in the mere relation of him to any religious matrys.. the media is not at fault, and perhaps the real culprit is the gun laws in the US.. I started to ask what guns are for? Self defence? But if everyone else doesn't have a gun then self defence using such lethal weapon may not be necessary anymore.. I'm glad that Singapore doesn't allow guns.. because I feel safe that there aren't people legally possessing guns to potentially use them illegally..
That aside, the past week i have been suffering from withdrawal symptoms.. obssesive complusive disease for TV.. it's been a while since I got myself addicted to TV although I noe it all lies within me.. but somehow these days TV is always more attractive then books.. well it doesn't help that i was supposed to be studying for exams.. Wire in the Blood.. where most people won't noe this show coz its British (I have something for British films haha) its about crime psychology and using the theories to apply them in police cases to solve murders or homocides and explaning why.. well i love it coz the dr is just so smart and passionate about psychology that he ends up weird in most people's eyes.. unpredictable while he enters the world of the murder and the victim.. it's a different perspective into crime, where evidence more often than not give way to psychology..
for once i admit to the fact that show and reality are different, and i'm glad that i can draw a line between them.. because what is entertaining as a crime thriller, with the murderer killing mercilessly becomes disturbing as they unfold in real life.. when i walked into school last week, i felt the mere thought of the place so peaceful becoming the site of death for people who have done no wrong to deserve it totally upsetting.. and then again i try to cherish the peacefulness and remember that all the competition for As in my transcript may not be that important after all..
updates
great.. i haven't been blogging for a month plus and yet i didn't realise that time just flew past.. and yes thank you avid readers.. this is an update for u haha.. well i think i'll leave out the details and focus on the main parts for the past month..
internships.. which took up a whole lot of time after my last post.. the march period was almost dedicated to interviews and the applications which can amount to about 20 now.. i mean applications not interviews haha.. was a confusing and depressing process because i realised that i haven't exactly been desired by the market.. well fortunately my little bit of reputation in school managed to get me recommendations which turned out well.. i'm happy now.. really happy to have gotten one at DBS.. though i have heard some opinions about my internship i still stay as grateful as before.. oh and i rejected my four seasons internship for DBS coz they rejected me at first.. hahah sounds like de javu eh.. law faculty.. oh well.. i'll be working at 6 shenton way!!! haha i juz love the place coz it seems to be the centre of everything.. 16 level.. think i'll have some view to look at.. :)
settled 3 months of my hols.. and then i'll have 3 weeks before i leave for NYU!! i'm still looking forward to that really.. though now i'm starting to get worried about myself and how i'm gonna cope because it suddenly struck that i'll have to settle everything myself.. but it'll be an experience.. going to be travelling, watching broadway.. yay..
speaking of broadway.. i watched phantom of the opera 2 days ago and it was FANTASTIC!!! prob it's juz my love for musicals.. this is the second time i'm watching it and it is still as good as can be.. well i almost cried at the end because the phantom was really really excellent that night.. the way he sang, and acted and he cried.. and i realised he used to be doing it in broadway.. no wonder.. the previous time i watched it in taiwan last year i thot the phantom wasn't up to standard.. this time christine was a little disappointing though.. but the stage work and sets were fabulous as well.. and i found myself singing along every song during the concert.. haha freaky..
today is the last day of school for me.. well after my internship search ended about 2 weeks ago, i started to realise that i have been neglecting my work.. and on top of that, presentations and reports were starting to be due.. the most worrying thing, however, is that up till now i'm still not panicking and yet it's 7 days to my first paper.. wow.. there's something really wrong with me now.. inertia which cannot be overcome due to large mass?!?! haha.. ok maybe after realising it today i'm gonna to pick up my books and begin intensive mugging session.. yet i'm really spoilt this sem and without 8 hrs of sleep i cannot function at all.. sigh.. fortunately my exams this sem is almost all qualitative and open book.. fortunately..
what else.. oh love life is empty as usual.. having no life as usual.. panicking at the last minute as usual.. promising myself that i will not end up like that next sem as usual.. haha ok maybe it won't really matter next sem heh.. well i think i'll end off with this.. if u think it is difficult to talk to people in presentations or conversations, try talking to a video camera.. then u'll cherish every moment that u are talking to people and not a machine.. trust me.. from personal experience, it's a lot harder than u think it is.. :)
to all: study hard and gambatte! (jap overdose haha)
